Foot-In-Mouth Disease

Stay inside people, there is a new epidemic. Worse than the plague, more contagious than the flu, more adaptable than anthrax. i am talking about foot-in-mouth disease. A mutated form of foot and mouth it has jumped from cows to people, normally famous people (must be all the money) and it can be diagnosed by the following symptoms:

* The saying of stupid things at inappropriate times

* The need to run out and buy a small, ugly, handbag sized dog

* Sometimes the person carrying the infection will feel the need to run for the American presidency

Following are some example of what the infected person might say:

+ If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours.

+ This is Earth. Isn't it hot?

+ For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it

+ Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

+ Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.


**URGENT NOTE FROM THE CENTRE FOR DISEASE CONTROL**

If you see anybody exhibiting their symptoms, do not hesitate to jump on them until they stop moving.